I go to malls, I park in lots
But I still have to walk 5 blocks
Because it's Christmas
Of my own I have no boys
Still I must buy a million toys
Because it's Christmas

Christmas comes but once each year
The merchants surely make that clear
Because we don't even get Thanksgiving here
Since it's been swallowed by Christmas

Now there's stations on the radio
That play every friggin' song I know
About Christmas
We interrupt this show Thanksgiving Day
To tell what sales are on the way
For Christmas

Christmas comes but once each year
The merchants surely make that clear
Because we don't even get Thanksgiving here
Since it's been swallowed by Christmas

Christmas comes but once each year
And makes your paycheck disappear
Storefronts filled with tinsel rows
And trinket gifts that really blow
Santas in every size
But still good in kid's eyes
For gifts

Just a basket full of cheese
For 40 bucks?!? Please!
It's Christmas
If one more bell goes jingle jingle
I will pulverize Chris Cringle
When it's Christmas

Christmas comes but once each year
The merchants surely make that clear
Because we don't even get Thanksgiving here
Since it's been swallowed by Christmas
Give me a turkey stuffed with yuletide cheer
'Cause everything's got to have Christmas
And your dreadle better have Santa's reindeer
'Cause we only want to see Christmas

Christmas